This past week I get glimpses of "it", I smell it, I feel it all around me, I taste in the air, its warmth envelopes me, it's breeze surrounds me, I see it with my feeble brown eyes, and hear it with my sensitive little ears. Its like music. Music you can touch, taste, see, feel, smell, hear. It's beautiful, and it is spring, and its coming!
My life has not only felt cluttered, but actually been cluttered. Cluttered by work, going back to school, the mundane tasks that fill life, by overly committing myself, by the emotional and spiritual battles that rage within my soul. I look around and I see my life whirling around me like someone has thrown a ream of paper into a tornado. and it's....all....so....cluttered.
And then in the midst of winter grey and cold comes this little bird of hope called spring. She just appeared this past week and like I said....it's like music to me. The sun feels warmer, the air smells like life is trying to spring up from earth, it tastes so sweet I want to pour myself a glass and drink it up! I want to envelope myself in its very essence and breath so deep that my lungs burst because they cannot contain the sheer magnitude of the delight of spring.
Maybe it feel so powerful to me because its feel so symbolic. Symbolic of where my head and my heart are at. A heart that has felt such sorrow that tastes bitter and chalky like soot on my tongue. A heart that has tasted that and the seeds sown in my wounds are springing for through the earth like tulips in the spring.
I felt overwhelmed by it today, and the day before that....and the day before that. This past week I took my dog molly to Palmer Park here in the springs, and we ran. We ran until our lungs felt like they'd burst through our chests. We bounded through the trails like gazelles (and nearly took a couple of spills too!). We stop and breathed deep and took in the majesty of the mountain sky line as the sun was setting. And there along the trail as I slowed my pace to a standstill at one point to take it all in.....hopped a little robin. The first one I've seen this spring. I won't lie....I nearly cried....and I....have no....idea....why.
I want to take this life and gather it. Gather it into nice pools of crisp fresh water and then pour myself a glass. I want to offer up a toast "to spring". The "spring" of the soul. May life abound and push through the ashen dirt of souls and sprout something beautiful.
....love the least