Friday, June 11, 2010

living in the "to-day"

I've been having a lot of "is-this-really-my-life" moments lately. Not always in a bad way, not always in a good way.

Like when I'm standing in my bare feet in the grass and my 18-month old nephew (well my surrogate nephew) Joel comes up to me as I'm blowing bubbles and to get my attention he throws his arms in the air, and cries out in the most desperate plea as saying my name like Rocky screaming for Adrian: "NAH-NAAAAAAAH!!!" (yes, that's how he says Rachel, "nah-nah" - I LOVE IT!)

and I reply.... "Yes, Joely?"

and in THE sweetest, most tender, raspy little voice he can muster, he looks at me with a smile on his face, a glint in his eye, and joy in his heart, he utters ...."baaah-bulls....."

"Yeah, Joely, they're bubbles"

WHACK!!!! I've been walloped with a stick like apparatus that Joel now possess as his "this-gets-me-attention club"

"NAH-NAAAAAAH"

"Yes Joely"....

"Aiiy"(hi)

.....he melts my heart


______________________________

Yeah those are the great "is-this-really-my-life" moments

And then there are the other "is-this-really-my-life" moments; when time keeps ticking and life keeps moving, and the mundane, in and out, gotta-do-what-you-gotta-do days occur, and when 3 a.m. chimes and I'm still lying in bed awake wondering about the nature of life, the way the world works, the wounds we all receive, and the way we try to work around the abyss they create in our souls. I lie there praying, aching, and loving over those that I hold dear in my feeble heart.

I wonder, "will it always be like this", and then I have a moment of hope knowing "no, it won't". It won't always be like this. Someday I'll know fullness in every extent of the word. Fullness of life, of love, of joy, of peace, of patience, of kindness, of goodness......someday. And then I long for the "some-day" instead of living the "to-day".

And when I do that, when I long for the "some-day" instead of living in the "to-day", I can miss the "THIS-is-really-my-life" moments, when Judah (my other nephew), out of the blue says "Auntie Way-chel......I love you".....yeah, it really does melt my heart.



Those moments, when I remember not to get caught up in the enemy of my own thinking and the waywardness of my own complicated soul, they help me love deeper, wider, higher. They help me know, understand, taste the sweetness of God's love and presence in the right here....right now. And when I live in the right here and right now, I begin to get a glimpse, a feel, a touch, a taste of the fullness of "someday".

Tomorrow I will do some of the gotta-do-what-you-gotta-do stuff, but then I will celebrate with friends, have some great times with some other great friends, and then I will lay my head on my pillow....and rest.

So here's to living in the right here right now of "to-day", instead of the longing of "some-day". For if we live in the right here right now "today" the "someday" will be present, and life.....life will be, so, very, good.



These are some of the people and that help make my life great














Sunday, June 6, 2010

I'm adding some "maybes" to Summa to do list

1) Play in a sprinkler (Hopefully with some really fun kiddos!) ---(CHECK!)
2) lay out amongst the stars on a lawn with a blanket
3) Go camping ---(CHECK!)
4) Snuggle a baby ---(CHECK!)
5) Eat ice cream at several locally own ice cream shops (this will be done NUMEROUS times)
6) Eat summer fruit until my belly hurts ---(CHECK!)
7) Celebrate the marriage of friends ---(CHECK!)
8) take a late night walk
9) Enjoy great conversation over some hooka and a good drink ---(CHECK!)
10) Fill my tummy with homemade strawberry shortcake
11) Participate in a sprint triathlon
12) Go on a missions trip
13) have a late night jam session
14) walk in the grass in bare feet ---(CHECK!)
15) enjoy a picnic ---(CHECK!)
16) blow bubbles ---(CHECK!)
17) give plenty of kisses to kiddos I love and hugs to all my friends I love dearly (I can never do enough of this to check it off!)
18) Read 2 books
19) Go see the new Twilight ;o)
20) Embrace the beauty, mystery, and quirks that are...me

21) go to zoo ---(CHECK!)
22) Summer BBQ's ---(CHECK!)
23) lose 15 libbys
24) Lunch date(s) with dear friend(s)
25) Celebrate the birth of the amazing Hudson Van de Casteele
26) Turn 28 (not really looking forward to this, but it'll be checked regardless if I "want" to or not haha) ---(CHECK!)
27) Hike, hike, hike!
28) Jog Jack Quinns on Tuesday night(s)
29) Give my grams a squeeze - this may or may not be possible because I may not being going to MI anytime this summer :o(
30) Take each of my (surrogate) niece (Brooklyn), and nephews (Judah and Joel) out on a "date"
31) Laugh until I cry and my stomach hurts ---(CHECK!)
32) Soak up the sun ---(CHECK!)
33) Drink in each day
34) Dry some of my clothes on the clothes line ---(CHECK!)
35) Give more, spend less
36) Go Mountain Biking
37) See a concert at Red Rocks

These are "maybe's" but definite "I want to do's"
38) Sky Diving
39) White water rafting
40)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Summa, summa, summa....sum-ma time!!!!...take dos!

I've added to my list and have "checked" off the ones I've done (however that does not mean I won't do them a bajillion more times this summer)

1) Play in a sprinkler (Hopefully with some really fun kiddos!) ---(CHECK!)
2) lay out amongst the stars on a lawn with a blanket
3) Go camping
4) Snuggle a baby
5) Eat ice cream at several locally own ice cream shops (this will be done NUMEROUS times)
6) Eat summer fruit until my belly hurts
7) Celebrate the marriage of friends
8) take a late night walk
9) Enjoy great conversation over some hooka and a good drink ---(CHECK!)
10) Fill my tummy with homemade strawberry shortcake
11) Participate in a sprint triathlon
12) Go on a missions trip
13) have a late night jam session
14) walk in the grass in bare feet ---(CHECK!)
15) enjoy a picnic ---(CHECK!)
16) blow bubbles ---(CHECK!)
17) give plenty of kisses to kiddos I love and hugs to all my friends I love dearly (I can never do enough of this to check it off!)
18) Read 2 books
19) Go see the new Twilight ;o)
20) Embrace the beauty, mystery, and quirks that are...me

21) go to zoo ---(CHECK!)
22) Summer BBQ's ---(CHECK!)
23) lose 15 libbys
24) Lunch date with dear friend(s)
25) Celebrate the birth of the amazing Hudson Van de Casteele
26) Turn 28 (not really looking forward to this, but it'll be checked regardless if I "want" to or not haha)
27) Hike, hike, hike!
28) Jog Jack Quinns on Tuesday night(s)
29) Give my grams a squeeze - this may or may not be possible because I may not being going to MI anytime this summer :o(
30) Take each of my (surrogate) niece (Brooklyn), and nephews (Judah and Joel) out on a "date"
31) Laugh until I cry and my stomach hurts
32) Soak up the sun
33) Drink in each day
34) Dry some of my clothes on the clothes line
35) Give more, spend less
36) Mountain Bike


more to still come........ :o) I. love. Summer