Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Daniel's Fast Day 9

You know I'm coming to a close on day 9 of this fast and i'm still waiting for some grand ephiphanies from God, but I have yet to be struck by lighting, see writing on the wall, to part any seas, or hear God in that "whisper of the wind". All in due time I suppose, I can say that I am feeling closer to His heart that I have in a long time and that is comforting. (Especially when I want to pick up the phone and order the biggest pizza known to man from Borriello Bros or to just shove a brick of cheese and piece of meat in my mouth) (Insert daydream of eating a fantastic meal here__________________)

I have been thinking to myself a lot "i'm going to eat this, or make this, or have this when I'm done with this fast". I have realized how much I LOVE cooking and baking since I haven't done or really been able to do much of it since starting this thing

I have learned how much eating is a social experience for me. Its hard to not be able to say "hey let's get coffee" or "want to go get ice cream". Even trying to find a place to eat with friends has been difficult and to tell you the truth its been robbing me of the joy of eating with others. I mean I am used to watching people eat delicious foods that I'm choosing not to eat right now, but it's awkward when it makes people feel as though they shouldn't eat in front of me. And that makes me sad, I don't enjoy making others feel that way.

So my goal, for the next 11 days is to try and make this as painless as possible for others. And I'm still waiting for that bolt of lightening to strike me to give me some wisdom on some things.

for now I'll just dream of eating a big fatty mc-fat-fat piece of pizza...

I have had some funny dreams about food lately.

-love the least

Monday, April 27, 2009

Photos from the past

So my mama sent me some pictures from my past, so I thought I'd share

I make a pretty schnazzy Minnie Mouse

I like being a helper, and apparently cucumbers the length of my body were needed...A-SAP! I was actually helping my Papa (grandpa) in his garden

And my uncle used to own a pig farm and we used to ride them, well, try to ride them

Slipper #2

Aaaaannnnnd this is slipper número dos that she got a hold of just yesterday. Sad, and yet funny. I'd say it was more my fault, but she was the one that jumped over the baby gate. Soooo I'd say it's time to get a second baby gate. What a stinker.

Slipper #1

Here is slipper número uno that molly got a hold of. Shame.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Daniel's Fast Day 5

I am 15 minutes away from finishing Day 5 of my Daniel's Fast experience, and let me tell youuuuuuu - it was a tough one!

I was awakened this morning by my lovely puppy Molly at (note it) 4:30 IN THE MORNING!!!

So Molly at this point is usually just like, take me out of here I want out I don't have to pee, just let me out. So it's Friday and I think to myself, ugh I'm not even going to bother waking up to go let her outside when she's going to stand out there 15 minutes and not pee.

so i brought her into my room and the moment I lay down I think to myself....I smell something....OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO KILL HER! I smell Molly pee! So not only did she pee right next to my bed, she peed on the ONLY article of clothing on my floor!!! and she had so much in her tiny little bladder it could have filled a Nalgene I'm sure of it! Cause it took a lot of paper towel and cleaner to clean that crap up! So at this point I'm pissed, my dog has received a wack or two and I resolve myself (after she has whined for being put back in her crate) that's she's going to go have a visit outside and she's going to stay there until I get up to get ready in the morning and I'm not going to feel bad about it.

So needless to say, my endurance, grace, and patience had run plum out on this fine Friday. So my day didn't start off onto the best foot, I end up being late to my first appointment, felt like I had no idea what the hizzy I was doing working with kids in the first place, and....I'm friggin' starving!!!! I want EVERYTHING I am choosing (we had a talk in KGroup last night about not saying I "have" to do something, but rather we "choose" to do them), so on to what I was saying... I want to shove EVERY food I'm choosing not to eat for 21 days. Perhaps a big piece of chicken, and cheese, on a huge piece of white bread, a Dr. Pepper, and to top it off with a cookies and cream milkshake and a bag of sour gummy worms.

Good golly - I sound like a friggin' fatty!!! I mean Moses smell the Roses, calm down Rachel!

So it was a tough day. I tried to spend time praying, but in all honesty, I didn't do well today. I was in a crotchity modd, I thought more than once "I'm just going to go get a cheeseburger", and then I was reminded as to why I was doing this in the first place: I lack self-discipline and I'm seeking greater intimacy in my relationship with God.

So I didn't cheat, I can't say I was in a better mood, but I tried. I did some much necessary cleaning around my house, made some dinner, watched a movie, folded some laundry and called it a day.

Have I had any huge spiritual revelations or "shazam!" moments yet? Not really. But then again, I'm stubborn...really stubborn, which means I probably won't have a break through until day 20 of this 21 day fast.

So tonight before I fall asleep i will pray that God will soften my heart, that I won't be so stubborn, and that God will help me to wake up tomorrow and Live well.

That's what I want the most, for God to look at me and tell me "you lived well"

-Love the Least

Monday, April 20, 2009

Daniel's Fast Day 1

I have begun a fast called the Daniel's Fast. My brother and sister informed me of it. It is basically a vegan diet: no meat, no dairy, no eggs, no sweeteners (sugar) nothing but fruits, veggies, whole grains, spices, certain oils, and good 'ol H2O. No for those of you that are not aware....I LOVE SUGAR! I mean there isn't a day that goes by that I don't have it in some way shape or form...which is probably why I am the "shape" I am (round).

I decided to embark on this fast for a few reasons:

1.) I missing a huge piece in my relationship with God: time, intimacy, trust, faith, lack of awe, a number of things we'll just leave it at that.

2.) I lack self discipline. True success in life require self discipline. Whether that be in relationships, work, hobbies, exercise, finances - in anything for it to be successful you have to be self disciplined, and I can honestly look at myself in the mirror and say I am lack such a thing and I would like to become a better person and start changing that.

3.) I stupidly mentioned the idea to Mel and she said "ok let's do it"....I'm an idiot (just kidding Mel), and I'm not one to back down from a challenge

I have determined several things upon the first day of this fast let's go over them shall we?!?!

1.) The self discipline I stated earlier that I lacked, well nothings changed, several times today I wanted to cheat

2.) ALWAYS go grocery shopping before something like this endeavor - I had to survive the day on Peanut Butter and all natural fruit ropes. As Pam (my sister) put it "you've got the fasting part down, now you need to eat" - that made me laugh.

3.) I REALLY love eating chicken, bread, cheese, and sugar (4 things forbidden) and as pathetic as it sounds, I missed being able to eat them today. ITS ONLY DAY 1. I mean, good golly, I should be able to go a day and not think about it, but no!

4.) I don't eat well, especially since I spend the majority of my day in other people's homes and in my car, so I either don't eat during the day barely at all, or I eat food that is just not beneficial to me

5.) regardless of how "little" I ate today, what good things I did put into my body, I managed to still go workout and feel great. usually if I go a day without really eating much and end up eating a little something (usually some crappy food) before I go workout I don't make it through my entire workout. Maybe God is trying to make a point?!??! To which I say: I sometimes really hate it when he does that :o)

So Day 1, DONE. Now time to sleep, if this heart burn would go away that would totally rock my world!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Incline

and I decided to conquer The Incline today. Katie was going to join but had prior plans with a friend. So Melissa and I headed on our way. Let's just say Melissa kicked my can, my view consisted of her being a good 100 steps or more ahead of me the entire time. Well played Mel! Needless to say that frustrated the junk out of me, but then...I had to get over it. Here's a few pictures from the adventure, Mel might post more later....

Please note in one, the lovely girl wearing SKIRT to hike 3,000 railroad ties...nice!

It was fun watching Mel "try" to avoid the slush. I felt bad.
I'm eating pizza one last time before I start the daniels fast for the next 21 days. Help me jesus

How cool!

So i JUST managed to discover that I could post a blog from my phone using my text messaging!!! How cool! Sorry if I'm a little slow for those that already knew this. but if you didn't....this is such a nifty feature to me. I can also do it from an email instead of necessarily trying to log onto my blog from my iphone. I'm impressed right now...well done blogspot. well done!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Fun times with new friends

So the past couple of days I've gotten to hangout with M and B and Katie which has been SO fun!

They're new friends I met through, and it's been good times, good times indeed. I wish I'd known them both sooner in my life, they're great, and they bless me.

yesterday we had a fun gathering and M and B's house you can read about it here she did a more than adequate job of detailing the fun had by all.

Tonight M came over, so we enjoyed the new Wii I got from my brother Aaron and sister Pam (SO FUN!!) Katie won (even though she states "I ALWAYS lose at games", yada yada, blah blah, boo hoo cachoo for you Miss Katie you are the 'SUPERSTAR") ;o)

And we watch High School Musical 3 which, what can I say...I laughed, I cried, ...I mostly laughed. It was enthralling, riveting, it had me on the edge of my seat, just wondering "WHAT WILL TROY DO NEXT?!?!?!?!" "Will Troy and Gabriella make it through this?!?!"

By the end I was exhausted from it all.

And we partook in the most amazing milkshakes EVER!!! I'm thinking of selling the idea to Josh and Johns. They were AH-mazing (Vanilla Kahlua, dash of milk, and cookies and cream ice cream) yum-o.

M and I nearly made ourselves sick off them...Katie could have taken or left it, but she wasn't feeling so hot...sorry Katie

Friday, April 17, 2009

Lord Help my unbelief

The following two songs have been tugging at my heart lately for numerous reasons. So I wanted to share. No need to watch, just read the words and listen. It's good stuff, I promise. I'll explain after you listen why I've been listening to these songs lately.

None But Jesus

In the quiet, in the stillness I know that you are God
In the secret of your presence I know there I am restored

When you call I won't refuse
Each new day, again, I'll choose

There is no one else for me... none but Jesus
Crucified to set me free...now I live to bring You praise

In the chaos, in confusion, I know you're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness You give me grace to do Your will

when you call I won't delay
This my song, through all my days

There is no one else for me... none but Jesus
Crucified to set me free...now I live to bring You praise

All my delight is in You, Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You, Lord
Forever More....

In Your Freedom

I search for you, God of Strength
I bow to You in my brokenness
And no other King could have so humbly come
To save my soul and hear my heart

I have nothing more than all you offer me
There is nothing else that's of worth to me

I love you, Lord! You rescued me!
You are all that I want! You're all I need...

I pray to you, God of peace
I rest in You, my cares released
I pray to You, God of peace
I rest in You, my cares released

I have nothing more than all you offer me
There is nothing else that's of worth to me

I love you, Lord! You rescued me!
You are all that I want! You're all I need

In your Freedom I will live
In Your freedom I will live
I offer devotion! I offer devotion!


For those that may not know: I have a gift and a curse of being stubborn. Stubbornness can be used in a positive manner, but I often allow mine to step in between my relationship with God and myself.

My stubbornness leads to an untrusting heart. We all have unbelief (as the Bible puts it so well), but mine really leads to being unwilling to trust in the justness, sovereignty, goodness, and all-knowingness of God. When I feel like I get served a "can of whoop ass" from the world so to speak, I look around and wonder,(as I wipe of my hands and knees from the beating), where the junk was God in that one?!?!?

When in actually, how did I allow myself to be in a circumstance to be served such a "can" as this? Where did I actually falter in which I was unwilling to believe that what God has said of me, for me, and about me that truly matters? When did I choose to not believe in the freedom He's so eagerly given me, to not look at myself and know that I have been rescued, and that there is NONE but my Jesus.

It sounds cliche, and perhaps sappy. But the past few weeks have served me quite a few "cans" and it's tough. My stubbornness causes me to fight against what the world is telling me I lack, but also against those that God has put in my life to speak truth into me. All that gets me is a whole lot of no where and a left with countless gaping wounds.

I want Freedom, but I don't trust that its for me

I believe that there is None But Jesus, but most times I don't trust that its for me

So Lord, I do believe. Help my unbelief.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

As for me and my house....

I must say I don't have a family of my own, but I get the joy of having an amazing roommate who is my best friend, and is more like a sister to me than a friend most times and for that I am blessed. And along with having an amazing best friend that I live with, we get the blessing of having a great house. A house that people can come and stay at, where (it is my hope that) they can feel comfortable, at home, and at peace. A place where those I love can know that the door is always open to them, and a listening ear and someone is here to sit with them to laugh, to cry, to just be themselves. And even though I my family consists of just me right now, I know that "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord". and I grew up in an incredible family that taught me that serving the Lord is shown, is done, and is, serving others.

Here are a couple picks from Easter Sunday, where over 20 of us gathered at mine and katie's stellar house to host Easter with a lot of people I love

Sunday, April 12, 2009


First an initial sidenote (Katie just had to move from the floor next to my dog, Molly, because Molly just let out a vicious fart that could clear a room!)

I have often debated within myself (I often have weird debates in my head) that if I had to make a choice between losing my sight or losing my hearing I would choose to loose my sight. Over my almost 27 years of living I have come to realize the necessity of my hearing mainly due to my love of music. Music moves me, it stir something within me. It connects to the very depths of my soul, gripping every facet of my emotions. It pours into every crevice, every space, finding the places within me that I thought were unmovable, hardened by weathering years brokenness. Music has the ability to bring my soul to life, and even when I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest from joy, music can make this very white girl dance!

Music has the ability to make me feel alive, to say everything that words are incapable expressing, that actions are incapable of being.

So that's why, that's why i can't imagine losing my hearing, because what I hear connects to my soul, God uses is to reconnect me to Him, to beckon me and draw me into my Abba's embrace.

I can't fathom, not being able to hear .... this:

This moves me. Sappy as you may think it is, it stirs my soul.