If I only knew

I'm in the midst of another very "in between time" in my life. There are moments are I am perfectly content and feel as though things have finally come together, like when I am at home or hanging out with new friends. Then there are times where I think....there is no way this is what God had planned for me. And it is at those times that I was I was sitting in the church in the photo. So that I could feel the vastness, endlessness, bigness of my Abba. And to hear the organ play as a choir sings....I get chills just thinking about it. I feel like there is more you know. More than just getting up at 5 a.m. everyday and going to a job I don't really enjoy, but work really hard at, because whether I enjoy a job or not...I will put in everything I have got.

I miss working with kids, I miss working with teens. I want so badly to get this job at SafePassage, it would be a dream come true. I just want to put my passion to use, and to come home being exhausted because I gave out everything that God gave me, and then to sit and let Him fill me again, so I can go in to work again the next day....and keep giving.

Don't get me wrong I understand that we should continually allow God to pour out our cup that He has filled, but I want to do it, where I feel like He has gifted me, not in just some 8 hour a day job.

anyways. I miss kids, I miss my kids at the Dale House, I miss the south, I have been desperately longing to move back to South Carolina, or to move to Atlanta.

God is big, and I have been forgetting that lately, and because I forget that....it makes me miss him. I can feel the hollow space within me, and it aches, but I feel too worn to let Him come near me.